The Dash by Linda Ellis

"Are there things you'd like to change?"

Bad (BAD) Words

"Loser."
"You can't do that!" "Don't even try."

"You are not as fit (smart, pretty, outgoing,...) as her."

"You are so lazy."

"You cheated on your diet."

"So stupid, why are you always so stupid?"
WOULD SPEAK THOSE WORDS to a friend? A child?
How about YOURSELF?

Words matter. We choose them very thoughtfully when we are communicating with other people, but do we give the same consideration to them when we talk to ourselves? Think about talking to children...you craft your words wisely because you know you can affect their self-esteem and self-worth..do you know you can hurt yourself in the same way?

Change your words NOW. I remember meeting my personal trainer after work back in 2011 for a session. We never made it to the gym floor... I sat in the Bally's front office for 30 minutes sobbing about things in my life that were really hurting me. After 30 minutes, Diane asked me to change one thing in the next week. She asked me to start using positive affirmations. After the biggest eye roll (EVER) from me, she explained that affirmations can just be factual statements. They are free of judgement. It was hard for me at first, but now it's just a habit. I don't put myself down. There is no reason to. You can get there...just practice.

Affirm. Affirmations do NOT have to sound like this...
"'I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and, doggonit, people like me!" ~Stuart Smally 

Affirmations can be factual...try to keep the language positive.

• I choose my words wisely when talking to myself. 
• I make decisions about my fitness.
• While on this "diet", I chose to enjoy a hamburger and fries.
• I am going to enjoy this walk today. (Not... "I can't run or I can't do the moves everyone else does.")
• I choose to sleep in this morning instead of work out.

Affirmations are intended to EMPOWER us. We get to make our own decisions and we do not have to feel guilty because of them. Try it. Craft your words wisely. 

YOU DESERVE TO HEAR GOOD THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF.

Thelma's Wisdom

My friend, Vivian, and I met Thelma in the summer of 2014 as we spent hours walking and talking around Clement Park in Littleton, CO. Thelma has a thyroid disease, has lost most of her hair, and has struggled with her health. The first time we saw her, she had the most beautiful pink bow on her head. Every time we see her, she holds her head high, has "pep in her step" and loves to stop and "chat" with humans.

Thelma teaches me these things:

1. When life is hard (and we know it is!)... PUT A BOW ON IT and find JOY in the little things. 
2. Looks aren't everything... BEAUTY IS FOUND IN ATTITUDE.
3. Sometimes you want to give up... JUST KEEP GOING, one step at a time.
4. You might want to isolate and be alone...DON'T. STOP & CHAT with the humans who want to walk with you. YOU NEED THEM. 
5.  Finally, those humans you stop and chat with ...THEY NEED YOU, TOO.

"Take Action!"...NOT "Be Perfect!"

Life Levity

I was recently sitting in a conference all weekend focused on Google technology. A keynote speaker shared this video and the message connected (in a resounding way) to my journey with wellness. Getting stuck is part of the journey and we don't have to be perfect ... we can't wait for someone/something to fix us, we just have to take action. SO, if you are stuck... do you NEED: a trainer, a gym membership, a diet plan, the perfect workout gear, a friend to motivate you, a spouse to do what you are doing??? Nope.

Reflections:

• We all get stuck. (Diet, exercise, negative self talk)
• You have more ability/power than you give yourself credit for.
• When stuck, don't expect people to "save" you. You got it.
• Just take ONE STEP at a time and move yourself. 

Forks Over Knives...for a month

Watched Forks Over Knives on Netflix about a week ago. Got me thinking... My desire in all things "wellness" is balance, so I am not "becoming" a vegetarian or vegan. That is not realistic for ME (it might be a choice that works well for others). My intention in the next month is to venture into vegetarian recipes in order to lessen my meat/dairy intake so that going forward, I eat more fresh food. Forks Over Knives talks about the percentage of (animal vs plant) protein we take in... I am going to lessen the protein that is found in animals. 

My commitment to self is:                        

.
One month of meat free eating.
One month of limited dairy.

My hopes are:
Discover new plant-based recipes that bring me JOY.

Lose 10 lbs with a diet tweek.
Have more energy - it's been low lately.

"Unleashing" Insecurity...Finding joy, confidence, accountability, compassion...

During the summer of 2013, Abiding Hope Lutheran Church decided to host a summer fitness boot camp, Physically Unleashed. I was in the middle of a quest to lose some weight, and it sounded fun...so I joined. I also was asked to help organize, so while I did not lead the exercises, I did the administrative pieces and helped our trainer Kelsey with marketing, email communications, etc. 

At the end of the summer, Brad asked me if I might ever consider leading the camp... including the exercises. I responded with a resounding...ABSOLUTELY NOT! I enjoyed participating in camp...it was motivating, but I did NOT want to be the leader. Many reasons...

1. Not fit enough - not "instructor fit" FOR SURE
2. Not enough experience - NONE
3. Sometimes it's nice to be a follower, not the leader - easier to BLEND sometimes
4. Didn't want the stress - have ENOUGH, thank you

We moved into fall and something was stirring inside me. Brad had planted a seed and it was trying to grow. I decided to get some information... I had to reach out to my community for the answers.

1. Would the church allow me to lead? - Pastor Doug
2. How do I get certified? - Diane Benoit
3. What is it like to teach fitness classes? - Diane Benoit
4. Would I be good at it? - Richard Dowell, other friends & family

When February 2014 rolled around, I had signed up for a certification course with my former trainer and friend, Diane Benoit. We spent a full day becoming certified Tabata Instructors. (Anyone can do it!) At the time, I really had NO IDEA what I was doing, but I was having FUN! Since then, I attended a second course in September 2014 (for FREE through the Tabata company) and my knowledge is growing. 

Fast forward... I taught my first "camp" in the summer of 2014. Here is a video clip of the AMAZING people who attended and the JOY we found together! Video Clip: (2:49) Physically Unleashed Summer 2014 Our second boot camp just started this week (October 2, 2014) and it was EXHILARATING being together with these people again. 

Reflection time...what have I learned that I can share with you?

1. As a trainer (insert your own word here), I don't have to be perfectly fit. I just have to be a "perfect fit" for the people I work with. I find that "fit" through compassion and kindness.
2. The only way to "get experience" is to START. Starting can be scary, but if you want experience doing something new...you have to do something new!
3. Being the leader builds confidence and creates opportunity. I don't always want to be in a leadership role, but I am finding that I can customize the experience for people in a way that makes me and them happy!
4. Living in community releases stress for me. Boot camp allows me to be in community with people in a different way than other parts of my life. This community is supportive, fun and active. This group is the best stress-reliever I know!

When a seed is planted, give it some care and see where it takes you...a beautiful, beautiful gift often awaits. We might have to leave a comfort zone and shake up our perspective, but that is where we learn to love ourselves and others in a deeper, more authentic way.

Reflecting about Setbacks (aka Delays)

Is it a SETBACK or an OPPORTUNITY to grow?

On August 18th, I planned on spending the day running a full marathon (26.2 miles) followed by a few days of recovery and lots of stretching sore muscles. What I got...an injured knee at mile 11 followed by an injured ego and a delay in my wellness journey.

How many times have you jumped in your car with a clear goal in mind about where you were going? You had a full tank of gas, the tunes were playing and then out of nowhere...STOP. Either traffic was backed up or a road was closed...but you were delayed, not to mention frustrated! Did you get out of the car, say "Guess I have to stop" or "Guess I'll just go back home." NO. You kept going. 

Delays are part of life's deal. They are not personal...it's not because you weren't good enough, or did something wrong. They just are... delays.

Great advice...so why couldn't I follow it? Because I am HUMAN. I went into a slight tailspin. My eating was "off" ... my exercise was "off"... my positive self-talk was "off." Dang. I know better and yet, I succumbed to a little (month-long) pity party.

It's slightly over one month since that day. My knee is finally feeling better and so is my ego. I've decided that in order to get back on track, I need to call upon my support system. I have one friend who now asks me daily if she will see me at the gym (accountability). I have another friend who I had to ask to "give it to me straight" when she hears me falling into the "poor me" trap (tough love). 

We ALL need people to walk along side us in our wellness journey. It's fun to share the highs with people, but our supporters can help us more during those lows. Just remember, that YOU HAVE TO ASK. People don't know that you are struggling unless you open up and are vulnerable. 

Don't DELAY... call a friend and get back on track with their help.
If you read this, ASK ME if I am back on track. I need your support. :)